This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
