oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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