Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize