i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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