I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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