8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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