O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fuck appropriateness.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
