My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
