Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
