your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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