bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize