I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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