I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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