I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
