apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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