OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
