She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize