This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize