I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
wow bdsm is so cute
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
