But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
