Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
