My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
