I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize