Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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