didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
