He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When are your genitals available?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
