just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
