I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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