is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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