I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
