Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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