I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
