why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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