What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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