I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
