im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
