Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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