just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
