the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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