The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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