I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
