i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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