Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
