Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
