I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
