That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
