i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
