I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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