what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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