A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
