hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
