This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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