real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
