found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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