Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
