I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
His nipple licking is glorious
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
