you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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