her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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