College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
