I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize