I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
