it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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