you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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