I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
