I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He better not be in your backpack
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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